So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
