As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
