He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just had sex on a roof
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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