Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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