i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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