She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
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I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Alive.
So much puke
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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