I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry about my life...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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