either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need water and some morals
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He has the fingertips of a God
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
