Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
