just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am naked and annoyed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
