I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize