How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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