We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
