No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
