things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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