Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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