I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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