I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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