I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
