She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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