well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
