i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize