Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i already hear my dad disowning me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please come you make the beer taste better
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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