Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
