I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
