I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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