suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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