At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
