The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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