you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
