it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
