Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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