Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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