awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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