Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
