Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
