So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
