I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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