so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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