I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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