My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
