what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
