none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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