Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
