its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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