My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
