Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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