what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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