My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
