super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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