I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
