that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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