I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
