Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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