As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Houston, we have a blender
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
