hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
