Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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