I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
