I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
