I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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