yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
