exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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