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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
