At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
