OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
